The Internet Is Stupid – An ME3 Ramble

Okay, I haven’t finished (or even started) Mass Effect 3 as of yet (I’ve played some multiplayer but that’s it) but I’m hearing the most stupid of things lately about a number of dumb-ass whiners about the ending of ME3. And I’m still trying to make sense of this all. I will emphasise here, I’m not into spoilers and I can’t have any spoilers personally for a game I haven’t completed, so any theories I make on the ending are completely shots in the dark. But all I can say is, to begin my argument, is HOW THE FUCKING HELL CAN IT BE AS BAD AS THEY CLAIM?!

Poss. Ending 1: Shepard dies.
1.1: Shepard dies severing the link that connects the Reapers into one cohesive force (Paragon ending?)
-So what if the hero dies at the end? Is it really that important to keep the lead character alive at the end? Reach didn’t keep Noble 6 alive at the end (not unless you cheat the game and fly to the end of the map or something), Captain Titus got himself impounded by his subordinate’s suspicions despite wiping out the Chaos invasion, but NOBODY kicked up a shitstorm about either Space Marine or Reach.

1.2: Shepard becomes lost to the Reapers after finding a way to ‘control’ them (Renegade ending?)
-You play a person who plays loose and fast…what the fuck do you expect to happen? Anyone who seeks power to use and abuse it – more often than not – will. And when they do, they typically end up becoming the new bad guy. If Shepard ends up with enhancements on top of this, yours could become the bad guy for ME4. Problem, universe? Then don’t be a dick.

1.3: Reapers go boom, Shepard’s ship gets caught in the blast, it’s the start of ME2 all over again…
-Lest we forget…this isn’t the first time Shepard’s met the grim reaper (as opposed to the Reapers – oh look, another connection you can whine about! No imagination! Waaaaah!) but this time could be made more permanent what with Cerberus hating Shepard’s asshole right now. Nobody lives forever. If you want proof, see what a sharp knife does to your lungs.

Poss. Ending 2: Reapers win.
-Yeah, I can see that happening. Overwhelming numbers from the edges of known space consuming anything that lives, breathes and resists until they become nothing more than pawns, slaves and food? Play it dumb, of course you’re going to be screwed over, and even in the battle against the unstoppable force and the immovable object, something’s got to give eventually.

Poss. Ending 3: New enemies!
-Some sort of “higher power” walks in, sees the mess in the universe and goes “fuck your shit!” and just destroys everything. Yeah, I can see that happening too. And sure, it might be a cheap finish, but it could’ve happened in FF9. And there was even an apocalypse in FF6. I didn’t hear about anyone complaining about either of them.

I’m likely off the mark with a lot of these guesses (or maybe I am on the mark, but not the bullseye – I don’t know) but my end argument is this: It’s a fucking game.

Nobody filed a lawsuit because Halo CE: Anniversary had the same story as 10 years ago. Nobody demanded that FFX’s ending would change so that Tidus was kept alive. Nobody reported Bethesda to the FTC for the number of bugs and glitches in Skyrim. You get what you pay for. If you don’t want it, don’t get it. If you don’t like what you get, bear it in mind for your next purchase. Filing lawsuits and demanding the script be changed just because you’re butthurt about it not being your ending? You just look like an idiot.

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